Flawed, Imperfect, and Beautiful: A Journey to Values-Driven Living

why values-driven living leads to authentic growth

I recently had a conversation with a fellow social work colleague about the difference between behavior-driven living and belief-and-value-driven living. It got me thinking about how mental health is often approached by focusing on behaviors without digging deeper into the beliefs and values that drive them.

It’s not uncommon for new therapy clients to come in focused on changing their behaviors. But I’ve come to understand that behaviors are secondary—they’re a manifestation of our beliefs and values. True, lasting personal growth doesn’t come from simply altering behaviors. It comes from taking the time to reflect on and evaluate our values and beliefs and deciding how we want to align our lives with them.

This understanding is why I appreciate the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) approach. ACT prioritizes values and trains therapists to support clients as they examine whether their behaviors align with what they care about. From there, we strategize ways to better align choices with values. This process requires a commitment to personal reflection, honesty, and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths about what we truly believe.

From personal experience, this is the hard part. It’s unsettling to realize that my actions do not align with what I say I believe. For example, I might tell people that I don’t place a lot of value on work or my professional identity. Yet here I am—writing about professional ideas, dedicating my free time to thinking and learning.

Reflection is the bridge between what we believe and how we live.

I’m learning to accept that I value intellectual engagement and professional growth more than I might acknowledge. On the surface, this feels like a contradiction to my social justice, anti-capitalist values. But it’s who I am.

I’ve wrestled with the theoretical understanding that a focus on work can be tied to capitalism’s drive for achievement and productivity. At the same time, I recognize the importance of rest, play, and stepping outside of my analytical brain. But here’s the thing—I genuinely enjoy thinking. I love learning. Philosophy excites me.

And that’s okay.

I can be both. I can hold the contradiction. I can embrace my imperfections. These contradictions don’t diminish my humanity—they make it more beautiful.

Writing this blog is part of that process. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I enjoy thinking, reflecting, writing, and sharing. But I also feel anxious about exposing my contradictions. I worry that others will see my imperfect thoughts and deem them less valuable.

Even so, I’m choosing to push through the discomfort. I want to produce flawed, imperfect content, to question for the sake of questioning, to explore for the sake of exploration. Over time, I hope this process will help me better understand what I believe, what I value, and who I am as a flawed, imperfect, uncertain—but amazingly beautiful—human.

Your Turn:

What contradictions exist in your life, and how do they reflect the complexity of your values and beliefs?